sensitive

have always been a sensitive soul ever since i was little: i would get overwhelmed over almost any responsibility, i would cry over the slightest friction especially when involving those that i loved dearly.

i still am a sensitive soul 23 years later...

and i miss home. 

through the ups and downs, the tears, the misunderstandings, or even the heedlessness... i am now here, missing home. missing my mom, realizing that i love her so, so, so much.

one thing that i've realized is that... do you know how a foetus feels so safe and warm inside its mom's womb? funnily enough, that safe and warm feeling... sometimes i can picture it whenever i'm physically close with my mom; no words exchanged, just her being there makes me feel so secure. i don't know why, but i can only guess: maybe it's because as a foetus, i really loved and therefore internalized that secure feeling, then i've brought it along inside of me for 24 years.

though sometimes my ego got the better of me.

at least i understand now that nobody's perfect, that i shouldn't depend on anyone but Allah Himself. i now accept the fact that my mom can sometimes hurt me without her even knowing, and yet no matter what... i also now believe wholeheartedly that she will always love me, and she will always be my sanctuary.