a little break to sort out my mind

i haven't been able to swim through my emotions lately. it's just been... idk.

what to do?

i haven't been doing my best.

i think everyone can relate, in order to get good at a thing, you have to do it badly at first.

and i don't think i've done a good job in accepting the fact that there's a process to everything, that you can't just expect whatever you're trying to do will bear fruits instantly.

life doesn't come with a manual book. how long do you have to wait to reap the seeds that you have planted? do you even wait at all? is there something you can do to speed up the process?

what to do?

i think the answer is unique to everyone, it's not a one size fits all kind of thing. but i haven't been able to sort out my mind, i don't know the answer. i've just been numbing it, because i don't want to feel like a failure... 

there's a voice in my head that tells me that i can't even reap the fruits.

turns out there's a lot of factors that play into how you build up your confidence.

but can you just try for now?

try to fake the confidence?

in the mean time, do whatever it takes, even if it means changing your environment... or maybe go to a professional.

.

ariska, no matter what that evil voice in your head tells you, you deserve anything this world can offer.

you don't have to feel small. you shouldn't.

maybe you're bigger than you think you are, maybe if you believe in yourself, that belief itself will propel you into doing what you're supposed to do, into thinking what you're supposed to be thinking.

life doesn't have a deadline, but life doesn't really have patience over you lazing around either.

start believing that you can, and you will. when there's a will, there's always a way.