a post written by the 13 year-old girl within me

"sometimes you have to run before you can walk"

that time would come when you're so insecure and afraid of what would come; so afraid that you can't even do anything to prevent it. there would come a time as well when you just can't do anything about it and instead you  let it devour your insides little by little until your conscience is the only thing you have at last. and that is when you let anything take over the place where your logic used to be at, and it drives you.

it finally drives me.

i'm so fed up with all this anxiety, this insecurity. i've never done anything crazy. i've always been within the border, afraid of saying the wrong thing. i've always been invisible for being unseen is the only way for me to do anything safely.

i've never raised my hand in class.

i've never voluntereed to do anything.

for i've afraid that i would lose anything;
and i really did not lose anything;
and guess why?
because i've never had anything in the first place;
i've never dared to.

i have never confessed my feelings more to those important for me because i'm afraid they would go if i do so.

and i regret that.

i do.

"a man lives a life of no regrets"