and on this very second, i'm getting mixed feelings about everything going on right now. i don't know if this is just the effect of that one fic i read a few minutes ago and how angst-y it was, or the way i've never been content with everything i do, or this is just that feeling you have when you admire someone too much but they're just so far away and you can't reach them, or this confusion and the needs to win and win and to reach the goals but doesn't have any confidence in doing so.
i don't know. it's all mixed up into one big whirlpool of emotion.
maybe i have a weak heart. maybe it's just the way it is and there's nothing wrong with it. maybe everyone's feeling the same way.
but either way, it's still the same disappointment. the same confusion.
and so i hope a piece of paper and an ink can help me connect these pieces.
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